The past week has been so intense. My doctor's appointment didn't go the way I planned - when I went in, my doctor said my blood pressure was quite high and I would need to start my Non-Stress-Tests immediately. I left his office and went to pre-natal testing. I kept a calm head (I mean, is getting stressed really a good idea at this point?!) and the test went fine. I'll have to have these tests twice a week until Baby Girl arrives.
The thing that was so hard was that my doctor told me that for the health of Baby Girl and myself, I'll have to be induced two weeks early (maybe sooner)! This whole scenario goes against my birth plan, but I decided right then and there it was OK, because I had to put my plans aside for anything that ensured her safe delivery.
It was while I was driving in my car from the hospital that a thought occurred to me. I was making my first real parental decision. A non-selfish, "anything to protect my child" decision. I was so sad that I couldn't get what I wanted, sure, but that paled in comparison to doing what I knew would be ultimately best for my daughter. I also know firsthand that this instinct is not something that every parent has.
Don't get me wrong. I think pretty much every parent LOVES their child, but not every parent would sacrifice their own plans for their child. I didn't realize that such a deep level of love could exist for a child I hadn't even met yet. I can only imagine what is going to happen when she is here... :) I love this little girl so much it makes me cry when I think about her. I am so excited to meet her - even if it means my birth plan doesn't go my way. In the end, God is in charge of it all. He controls all the methods of delivery known to man. He has every power and right to use whatever method necessary to bring her into this world. It isn't about me. I am really just a vessel. She's coming in a little over five and I couldn't be more excited! That's all that really matters...
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